Archie McPhee Catalog / June 2019

All About Bigfoot

Archie McPhee sometimes has trouble proving that their products are real (I mean, really? Tin Foil Hats for Cats? What’s next? A unicorn salt lick?). So why try and sell Bigfoot products specifically? Well, it may surprise you to find out that there’s some real science behind the idea of Bigfoot.

Before you flip the page in disgust and move on to the finger puppet section (and wow, are there some GOOD ones this time), hear me out. You might need to rethink your opinions of Bigfoot. It might not be just a myth. And in fact, there’s a possibility that, even if it’s not around today, Bigfoot could very well have been a living, breathing creature.

Now serious, scientifically-minded Bigfoot experts think that if it is, or was, real, Bigfoot would probably be a primate of sorts, and related to humans. How closely related? Like “I’m coming to Thanksgiving and bringing all my kids but not actually making anything” related? The answer to that depends on which Bigfoot expert you’re talking to.

Think back to high school biology and you might remember this sequence: Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species. Some Sasquatch seekers theorize that the ancestors of Bigfoot and humans would have been part of the same Family—Family Hominidae—which means they parted evolutionary ways between 5 and 8 million years ago. So related, but distantly, and you’re probably not required to invite Bigfoot for dinner, least of all because of questionable table manners.

Cryptozoologists in this camp think Bigfoot might be the direct descendant of an ancient Asian ape known as Gigantopithecus. The name simply means giant ape and the theory is that it—or its descendants—crossed the Bering Land Bridge from Asia into North America. But we don’t know a hell of a lot about Gigantopithecus, mainly because all evidence we have of its existence consists of a few thousand fossil teeth and a handful of jaw bones. It had really big teeth. And really big jaws. And that is all we know. No other more useful fossils to paint a, ahem, bigger picture.

Then there’s a second school of thought on Bigfoot ancestry—a small group of Bigfoot believers thinks that Bigfoot might be in the same genus as humans, genus Homo. And if that’s the case, well, you might have to put out an extra place-setting at dinner (maybe don’t use the fine china), because that’s REALLY closely related. Homo erectus, Homo neanderthalensis, and Homo bigfootus? Not as crazy as it might seem—we (Homo sapiens) once shared the planet with Homo erectus and the Neanderthals. In fact, up until about 30,000 or 40,000 years ago, there were a whole lot of human-esque creatures—hominids—walking the planet, including us. Evolution experts even say there could have been as many as seven or eight different hominid species living at the same time. And those are just the ones we have records of—fossils.

Just a word here about fossils: Do you have any idea how hard it is to become one? Imagine you’re an animal that dies. You have to avoid being scattered and crunched up. Your bones have to be covered by sediment pretty quickly to avoid weathering away. Those sediments have to be incorporated into the rock record. Then there has to be erosion and then someone has to come along to find the fossils sticking out of the rock before they get destroyed by the elements again. Basically, the chances of becoming a discovered fossil are really pretty slim.

Which helps the argument for fossil Bigfoot, even if it doesn’t make the creature any easier to find. But whether Bigfoot is too distantly related to get a dinner invite, or close enough to get a seat at the table, I can totally buy the idea that something like Bigfoot might have walked the earth. Maybe even recently. I mean, eyewitness accounts and stories about Sasquatch go way back—centuries, even—so maybe, just maybe, some sort of Bigfootesque creature coexisted with humans if not now, then once upon a time.

So stock up on your Bigfoot gear. Carry it with pride. That air freshener or lunchbox isn’t just some whimsical silliness dreamed up by Archie McPhee. No, this is about science! Evolution! Anthropology! If someone gives you guff about “believing in an imaginary creature,” just remember, they’re talking about your relative. And you’re not going to let someone talk that way about your cousin, are you? I didn’t think so.

Explore an updated Bigfoot sightings map with insights into the real science behind the search for Sasquatch. 

Laura Krantz is the host and producer of Wild Thing, a podcast about Sasquatch, science and society. A longtime journalist, editor and producer, she currently runs the audio division at her tiny media company, Foxtopus Ink. Prior to that, she spent close to a decade in public radio and has also written for Outside, Newsweek and Popular Science. While she hasn't spotted Bigfoot yet, you better believe she's keeping her eyes peeled.